World of Warcraft and Reflections on Life
I’ve been thinking about something for quite some time.
I play World of Warcraft (WoW). For those of you that don’t know of it, it’s a huge, online game played by thousands of people on hundreds of servers around the world at any given moment. The idea of this type of game is nothing new, but this is a recent incarnation that has become wildly popular.
It’s become noted recently as being incredibly addictive. There are even several articles out there claiming that it’s more addictive than some popular controlled substances. This has brought about the whimsical moniker “Warcrack” as a common way to refer to the game.
I can attest fully to this. I’ve spent more than one day at work daydreaming about which quests I might complete once I get home, what experiences I might have, which area I might explore, etc. What makes it even worse is that you play this game with other people. So, not only is the game huge, enticing, fun, and has endless possibilities, but you play it along side people in parties. In my case, I usually end up playing with folks I know already. It becomes a way to socialize.
That said, I’m not as bad as some people. There has only been one day where I had a monster gaming session that lasted all day. In my case, I had a family-less day with nothing else to do. Most of the time, I’ll play an hour here, an hour there, or a couple in the evening after the kids are in bed.
I don’t intend to write a discourse that explains the finer points of WoW. I simply want to establish the fact that we’re talking about something that’s highly addictive, engrossing, and really is an alternate reality.
Now to my point: I think that WoW can become an analogy for people’s lives. I don’t know if this applies to everyone, but I really think it does to me. Let me explain.
I’ve been a person that has struggled with focus (or lack thereof) throughout my life. I’m intelligent, a fast learner, and I enjoy challenges. I did reasonably well in school when I applied myself, but I almost always ran into trouble because I would lose focus. I never saw it before because it had never been as clear. Now that I play WoW, it’s obvious.
I started playing WoW maybe a year-and-a-half to two years ago. I began with one basic character. To this day, he’s still my main character (the one that I most commonly play with), but he’s kind of an underachiever.
As you progress through WoW, you earn experience points for doing things like killing monsters, completing quests, etc. As your experience builds, you gain levels: when you start, you’re at level 1. the highest you can currently get is level 60. My little dwarf I started so long ago is currently at level 45, so he still has a long way to go. In contrast, I got a friend of mine playing the game nearly a year after I started playing, and his character is already at level 47.
So he’s surpassed me in half the time, and he’s about as casual a player as I am. There’s a very simple explanation: focus. My friend started one character, and has played that one character exclusively the entire time. I, on the other hand, have had several characters. I currently have seven characters spanning two separate servers, and have even had a couple fairly advanced characters I deleted to make room for others.
I’ve always known that I’m this way. I just think it’s interesting that it’s brought itself to light so clearly in something as simple as this silly game. I’ve always struggled to accept myself in this regard. If I had only been more focused, more disciplined… maybe I could have done this or that. That might be true.
In the game, it’s given me a kind of advantage. Having played so many different characters, I have a very broad base of experience to draw from. My roots are broad, but not very deep. The disadvantage is that I get bored quickly with my main guy if things aren’t moving along like I’d prefer them to be. In life, it’s the same thing. I probably have 100 things “on the back burner.” Part of me knows I’ll be lucky if I ever get to half of those things, even with my best intentions.
Ultimately, I sometimes wonder if it’s possible for someone like me to truly succeed at anything. I know success is a relative thing. For one person, it can mean playing a piano concerto to perfection. To another it might mean learning “Mary Had a Little Lamb.” When I think of success, I think I mean being one of the best. Not necessarily the best, but one of. Think Jake Delhomme, Tom Brady, Brett Favre… all greats. Is one the best? Probably. Are they all successes? For what they do, definitely. Once you get to that point, defining “the best” is splitting hairs. Like determining the winner of an Olympic event. It all comes down to fractions of a second.
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(a few weeks later)
As I get older, I’m learning to expect less out of life. Well, maybe I shouldn’t put it that way, because it sounds like I’m settling. Maybe I’m redefining my concept of success. I think part of me has determined that I probably won’t be one of those greats. I won’t be a Feynman, or an Einstein. I won’t be Tim Berners Lee, or the guy that invented UNIX. I’m okay with that.
Inside, I’m a pretty simple man. I make my living in computers, but I would give it all up for a simple life. A nice chair, a warm fire, peace, quiet… and a few good books. Don’t forget a tasty beverage. That’s about it. That’s what I want. Sometimes I think that maybe my schizophrenic life is just a result of trying to be someone I’m not. Trying to push myself to become something I can’t or won’t. I just don’t want it. It’s not worth it for me to work 80 hours a week to slap my name on something like cold fusion, when I have a greater purpose at home with my wife and kids.
Oh, by the way… I’ve quit playing WoW. 